Self-Awareness: the ego’s antidote

Maybe your Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment™ results are not about sharing who you really are. Maybe they are about making sense of who you are pretending to be. Maybe they are about unmasking the childhood hurts and the growing pains of being human you have suffered. I feel, as a PI Practitioner and consultant, that we tend to over identify with our PI results—boasting about them at times to validate a more ‘false self.’  We often use them as a rationalization or an excuse for nonperformance in many areas of our lives, especially in relationships.

What impact does this have?  It moves us farther away from self-awareness, which is the crown jewel of a behavioral assessment experience.

We are hunting, often subconsciously, for our true selves.  The authentic ‘me’ that is trapped within the stories I’ve been told about myself, and then by the stories I tell about myself.  We know that there is more to us: we are not a number, a letter, a sign or any other representation of the complexity and beauty of a human being.  We are simply more.

Does this mean that personality and behavioral assessments are useless?  No. They are incredibly useful for the questions they can force us to answer about ourselves. The polarizing questions I hear a lot in my work when it comes to personality revolve around “what is bad?” and “what is good?” What a person is struggling with in these moments is looking at who they are and feeling overwhelmed with knowing that they don’t like what they see.  They see differences as weaknesses or strengths rather than simple differences.

These are the manifestations of stories told to them and about them over the years. This is where the fight begins within a person—a fight to unearth the real you. The essence that screams, often silently, to be found buried under the false selves we have created.

Ego loves the false self. Ego will fight you tooth and nail to keep that caricature alive and well. Ego amps up the importance of the ‘right’ personality versus the ‘wrong’ one.  Ego minimizes others and is constantly comparing to ensure we are ‘safe.’  But, safe from what?  When it comes to our ego, there must be a winner and a loser, someone who is right and wrong.  Talking through differences, and being reflective of the value in them, is not an exercise the ego will endure. Our ego fears being minimized, bringing forth disruption in relationships through poor communication, conflict, envy, showboating, anger, disrespect, fear, rationalizations, blame and the list goes on.  Your ego is not who you are.

Look at your PI results today again if it’s been a while.  What aspects of the results does your mind fight?  Why do you think that is?  Unmask the real story behind the value rankings you have placed on your personality.  Ask yourself: why do I feel this is wrong?  Or, why do I feel this is superior?  The answers to these questions will draw you deeper into self-awareness.  In drawing deeper into self-awareness, you will become more compassionate of others.  You will begin to wake up within your relationships and see the beauty in others that your ego has tarnished.

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