In my conversations with managers and executive leaders I have found that most of the questions revolve around what ‘other’ people are doing around them. For example: “BJ, tell me what is going on with my sales manager. She just doesn’t get it does she?”
It is rare to hear the leader who asks me the billion dollar question: “BJ, what do I need to be and what do I need to do to better meet the needs of my people?” Every time I hear a version of that question I want to conduct a standing ovation for that person.
Why? It is because they have successfully climbed the mountain of self-awareness. They have accepted who they are, with all their flaws, imperfections and limits. This is a lifetime victory for that individual, as often times that mountain of self-awareness extends above the clouds and out of our immediate line of sight. We fear there is no peak, and we question if we are even equipped to make it there.
These leaders understand that oftentimes they are indeed ‘the jerk’ in the situation they have called me about. They recognized, without hesitation, that they have likely caused this problem and have already accepted full personal accountability for their actions. I’m simply there to work through what is the most healthy decision to make next ensuring the situation is successfully navigated. That part is actually easy. Yes, admitting that YOU are the jerk is a humbling and uncomfortable admission. However, most of us are unwilling to even entertain this reality.
The answer to why can start by reading back your Predictive Index® results to better understand your motivating needs and drives. These are the fundamental, hard-wired drivers for how we operate each day. If we are to make the effort to climb that mountain of self-awareness, we have to have the most objective view of self that we can find. In my work, PI® provides that insight to leaders. Once you are able to successfully accept yourself, the hardest work has been completed. What happens next becomes liberating, fulfilling and noble. It involves expressing personal accountability to self-manage and engage others instead of blaming others for our own circumstances.
So, ask yourself honestly today: “Am I the jerk?” If the answer is ‘yes’ then you know what to do next. Make it right.