In plain terms what I do at ADVISA is this: provide a language and a system to produce self-confidence for people in a business. Bob Wilson, our Founder and Chairman, says it best: “Self-confidence is the currency of productivity.” So, when I get ‘hired’ by a company, it is usually for the ‘productivity’ part of the equation. Most companies want to more productive, more profitable and simply more.
The puzzle that I end up working with people in the businesses to solve is foundational. It is simple. So simple in fact, that most individuals want to complicate it. We do this because it makes us feel like a special case. The plain truth is that we all want our needs to be met. In getting our needs met we are able to be self-confident, which rarely does not meet the criteria of happy and at peace.
The question I have for you is this: Why do we talk about yesterday and the future when discussing happiness, self-confidence and peace?
Think about that for a moment. We rarely are able to rest in the ‘now.’ Our minds struggle to take in the moment, even when we wish them to. Isn’t that interesting? Let’s build on that, given you’re still with me. Another important fact is that our brains are a multimillion year old structure build to keep each of us alive, like many of our other organs. Notice I said ‘alive’ and not ‘happy.’
Consider this, when you go into an environment what are the first things your brain brings to your attention. Even in this moment, our brains are scanning for potential threats that we must equip ourselves to respond to. Not the most conducive predisposition for happiness and peace huh?
Given what I’ve shared above I want to tie this together. There are practical ways to have self-confidence, happiness and peace right now. The keys are this:
- I must know what my needs are. Remember, they are the source of your self-confidence.
- I must discipline myself to have a sacred pause to gain a more full control of my mind. Remember, it is built to keep you safe, not happy.
Simple steps right? Maybe they are blatantly obvious for some. If we continue to make our lack of happiness, peace and self-confidence someone else’s fault, or unfortunate circumstances or because of who our parents are, or aren’t, then this ideal mental/emotional state will continue to elude us. The hardest part of the formula above is going to be step 2 for most. Stillness of body and mind is a discipline – not something that tends to ‘find you.’ You need to build a strategy that produces this state.
Two ideas are meditation apps Calm (www.calm.com) and Headspace (www.headspace.com). I’ve personally used Headspace and found it effective. Plus, the experience can take as little as 10 minutes. (Let’s hurry up and pause!)
If reading this you find yourself in a place where you do not feel happy, at peace or self-confident, consider taking action on the two steps above. This will increase your awareness and capacity to make proactive decisions to get your needs met. It will put you in the driver’s seat, which means you will be accountable. Or, you can consider the alternative, wait until someone ‘makes’ you happy, peaceful and self-confident. Or, you can wait until that next vacation, promotion or the weekend and maybe it will ‘find you.’
If you find yourself challenged on either step, consider reaching out to me. This is what I do. In helping individuals identify their needs and sources of self-confidence we can begin to create concrete lifelong strategies for happiness and peace, right now.